This god Delusion, Part I

That I am not a fan of the human species comes as no surprise.

Recently, however, I’ve been watching my thoughts think, and been trying to figure out what is it exactly that stops me from joining the bandwagon of being human. Amongst many things that came up, there was one that my brain automatically highlighted: this desire to be god-like.

One would think that after wars, death, starvation, poverty (etc), the human species would be humbled. Still, it seems that such “casualties” don’t stay in the way of “progress”.

Mercantilistic minds seem to govern our daily experiences. Some sort of superiority complex that I fail to grasp: testing lab rats for primarily human benefits, for testing on humans would be a violation of multiple universal rights.

What of other creatures? Oh but such thoughts don’t cross my mind. I, human, strive for survival. My survival. For the very epitome of progress, of evolution, can only be translated in the human species. Consciousness, human consciousness, because non-human consciousness is looked upon with too much scepticism. Who, other than humans, would enjoy the fruits of having a conscious?

Rationality, for such logic drives the universe. The perfect catalyst for power. Power, for we were born to be in charge of all nature’s creatures.

All academia comes in songs of conquest. All studies concerned with what’s around us, and how can we best manipulate it?

Omniscience, this unexplainable desire to know everything, and to acquire knowledge and shatter ignorance. For knowledge is a weapon, and only wisdom is capable of nullifying its’ cancerous bullets.

But maybe I’ve become too pessimistic. Too nihilistic for a young human such as myself. Human beings are good. Of course we are good. We help the blind lady cross the streets. Sometimes.

And because we are so good, it would be a terrible loss for us to die. For this, by 2045, we shall be able to upload our consciousness onto avatars. Yes, it is actually a thing.

For our presence in the universe is a need, a must(?).

We shall forever live, we shall, like gods, conquer death, and, finally, rule over everything.


1. The 2045 Project, headed by Russia, with the help of neuroscience, hopes to be able to further human existence by operating on human consciousness.



The Child in Me

I’ve suddenly realized that I’m too young for all this.

Sitting, studying, using big words, engaging in philosophical discussions, asking unanswerable questions. When did I become so old?

Often, when I accidentally stumble upon my younger self (whether in photographs or old diaries, it varies), a strange feeling comes over me. I cannot recall when I stopped being myself, or when I became myself, or if I ever had a delineated self.

I remember playing with dolls, and suddenly not knowing what to talk about with other girls, because suddenly, I wanted to read.

Today, I run home and feed on neuroscience documentaries, question life, but all in all, wish to take off my shoes and sit in the middle of the road, like any child would, before the biting of the wisdom fruit.

Indeed. I miss not knowing right from wrong. The purest form of my existence, perhaps. Everything was new. Novelty was the currency of my daily experiences.

Now, I sit in front of crumbled notes, or (desperate!) attempts at absorbing as much information as I can, all in pursuit of a Politics degree. Heck, who envisioned me graduating with a paper that smelt like Politics?

For I’d like to sit with the artist that sketched my future. There are so many questions about my past, which seems increasingly far-fetched, when compared to my present self.

I am various people. I have always been various people. And I’m not sure if growing up is helping.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to reach 30 and look at my 20-year-old self with satisfaction.

In any case, so long as I don’t look back in awe, wondering, what happened to that child?